plans A-Z

its the stress!
you offer cigarettes
just how is sucking poison supposed to make me feel better?
first its smoking
then its choking
and then its rigour which is the tensest kind of tense.

and the drinks
they make me tired
which makes me want to stay awake
because as soon as i lie down
the shorter it will take
for me to wake up
and have to face the world again.

but sleep is what i need
more than anyone or anything
because if there's one place i can forget
its where my head meets my bed

but if i forget then i'll have to remember
because the spark will remain, the memories ember.
and when i've hit the last snooze and my eyes open
i'll have to find a conscious method of coping

and so my neck will feel this pain
my mind will buzz
motivation will wane
i will eat more
and over sleep
i'll snap, i'll grump, i'll sigh, i'll weep

but i will still get up
and brush my teeth
i'll pick out clothes that make me look thinner
wash my face, pack my dinner
and another day will be gotten through

so there is just one thing left to do.

"Oh God I can't make it without you.
You know I need this confidence boost.
I'm sorry I've doubted your truth
that love and compassion will always pull through.
I'm sorry I listen to the standards of the world
please turn me into a better girl.
Stand by my side, don't leave my mind
whisper in my ear that it will be alright.
Because you are God and you are good'
though i don't always do as I should
inspire me today
let this tension melt away
give me that bit of release
give my mind peace."

why smoke, drink, sleep, or eat, when you can pray...