Damage Control

for some reason this blog didn't post when it was supposed to, so i'm posting it now.  but this is all old.

It's a phrase that at this moment twists in my gut.  I'm realizing that my life currently is requiring some damage control.  Things have fallen apart, and now I need to salvage what pieces are left and arrange them so they can grow into something new.  A lot of damaging things have been happening to my heart these past few months.  Losing loved ones is damaging.  Losing employment is damaging. I've often thought of every aspect of my life as its own spinning plate.  When all the plates fall it takes a while for the shock to wear off before things can be effectively renewed again.

Okay enough with the metaphors.  Let's be specific.  I went to the doctor today to get renewed prescriptions and also ask for some more blood tests.  They had me talk to a behavioral counselor even though I told them I was already seeing a counselor and she told me to get more blood tests.  I didn't really mind, I'm happy my doctor is covering her bases.  I mentioned the possibility of a vitamin deficiency and to my chagrin doc said "I doubt it's going to be that simple"  Either way I'm still getting the blood tests so we'll see.  In the mean time, she recommended that I increase my antidepressant dose, and I agreed.  I think it was super helpful for her to recommend it, because believe it or not, I never would have thought of asking.  It doesn't matter that I've been more depressed than I've been in years, or that my time not spent sleeping or applying to jobs online is spent watching Netflix and literally nothing else.  "Even if its just for a little while, since you've had so much happen" doc said.

So there. Some damage control on my brain.  What's next?

How about a trip?

I know what you're thinking.  I am utterly broke right now, how could I afford to go anywhere?  Well God has interesting ways of providing what we need.  A friend of mine is taking a road trip and invited me along. I explained my situation to her, but she explained back at me that aside from food, all of the expenses will be essentially the same as if she were going alone.  And she's willing to cover me.  I am so excited!  You have no idea how good it feels to have something to look forward to!  I've not had much since gencon, and that came with a lot of its own little stressors to counteract a lot of the joy.  I need this guys.  I need this for my soul, and God has made a way for it to happen.

So, some damage control for my soul. Check.

As far as me personally goes, I think I'm leaving it there for now.  It's been frustrating